Walking towards graduation and beyond
On a breezy Sunday morning, I walked slowly toward the main quad. I could hear my heels tick-tock-ing as they touched the concrete paths, making noise from my awkward walk. A walk with a limited range of motion as my legs were wrapped in beautiful hand-made jumputan clothes from my hometown. I looked up, I could see the thick cloud was thinning out as if the sun had awakened and slowly opened her bedroom blind. I smiled as my prayer for a beautiful sunny day was about to be answered. Every day for the last two weeks, I diligently checked the weather app, hoping this weekend would be nice and beautiful.
It's graduation weekend, my favorite celebration of all celebrations, and today is my graduation day 😊
I entered Foreign Language Building in the sea of blue. They were graduates, wearing the dark blue regalia, who were busy finding their spot on the line. The space was crowded, but I could barely name ten people there. I was searching for a familiar face, one other doctoral graduate who did not seem to have arrived then. Yes, there were only two of us. PhD was such a lonely journey, literally and figuratively.
…Wait, today is a day of celebration; let me save all the ups and (many) downs stories of PhD journey later in another post. Back to celebration mode…
Outside was so beautiful that I could not resist the temptation to be outside. “I’m going to skip the line for official photos,” I said to myself. So, I walked outside and found a bench on the side of the path. I looked around, I found nothing but the radiation of pride and happiness surrounding me.
“What a beautiful day!”
I thought I heard the voice in my head, but then I realized it was someone else’s, an older lady and her friend who walked towards me.
“Would you mind if we sit here?”
“Of course not, please! Whom are you celebrating today?”
The conversation then continued, I learned about Aaron, her grandson who graduated from the Bachelor of Science in architecture program, his plan for grad school, summer vacation, and many other things.
Then, they asked me why my gown looked different. I told them that I also graduated from architecture, from the doctorate program, hence the three stripes.
“Congratulations! What did you study?”
“I studied housing for older adults.”
I could see a change of countenance on her.
“I don’t want to move to that kind of facility, but I know, at one point, I will.”
This was the first time I heard it live in a conversation I engaged in. Though I am familiar with the sentiment and debate about “Where is the right place to age?” My engagement in this conversation on my graduation day was a humbling reminder.
I didn’t continue telling her about my research in detail. Rather, I listened. I listened to how and why she is living alone in her house, appreciating her openness to share her story with me.
After going through robust training to become a researcher in the past five years, one thing that I know for sure is that there is an angle for everything, but we can’t see everything from an angle. The debate is no longer about where is the right place to age. Rather, what is the best way to support older adults, regardless of their place of residence? And most importantly, how do we listen to them and involve them in making decisions about their life?
It was then time for me to line up back into the building. I said bye to my new friends and thanked them as they congratulated me again. As I walked back, I heard a similar yet faster tick-tock-ing noise from my heels, echoing a similar excitement in all corners of my body. I saw a vision, the light at the end of the tunnel that I have been searching for these past five years. A purpose, an answer to why am I doing what I am doing?
My family from Indonesia and Virginia came all the way to Illinois to celebrate OUR accomplishments. God is great, alhamdulillah.
